Sunday 27th May 2007

Have you ever stopped breathing…held your breath and just…Stopped breathing? Standing motionlessly. Your eyes open. Your mind still. Held in static suspense. What if you hold your breath for too long? Walking a fine line between conscious and unconscious. We let our mind slip. We toy with possibility but in the end we all gasp. We need that intensity of awareness. We are all suspended in limbo. Only sometimes, we let ourselves slip.


Saturday 1st September 2007

From a bedroom window I could be anyone.


Thursday 10th January 2008

And I thank my Lucy Socks

Looking from the roof out to the street below I like seeing them walking. My eyes glazed in a romanticised glow. Look left then look right. Eternal is the state of being I find myself in. I daren’t stop to think because I have never experienced this before. I just am. In the moment, creative, inspired, inspiring, together.

The letter of dreams, I thought I was seeing double. I realise you exist as I do. Acceptance becomes a reality. Swept off my feet? Cliché. Surprised? …Of course. Happy? ...Ecstatic! Simply more than I could imagine. I once gave him my thoughts and never did I think I’d give him more than that.

The cute noises. Rawrr… the smile as you stick your tongue out to one side. The arch in your back and the softness of your touch. You.



Sunday 30th July 2006

To dance in the sun and spin my arms round that’s where I would be now. To run in the breeze and splash in the sea. With no concern and not a glimmer of doubt. Unquestioned and easy that’s where I’d be. Deep and meaningful

Fresh cut grass.
In the lemon soup.
Diamond earrings sparkle.
Silver cut crystal.

Random random random



Wednesday 14th December 2005

Tumbling thoughts

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Monday 9th January 2006

Life is tough, you've got to train like an athlete and cook like a chef. You’ve got to clean up after yourself and anyone else for than matter and what’s worse is that it doesn’t fit within the ‘vision’ plus you have to do it all with a smile. Knowing that really the only one thing you truly want is that cozy night in after a creatively stimulating day of work. Something you waited and learned so much for.

Things only happen for a reason. “What’s for you, wont go by you” as my mum would say. Although keeping that in mind probably wont help you until your satisfied with everything but you’ll look back and perhaps something somewhere will click.


Dreams are worth fighting for

Saturday 28 January 2006

So today I forgot to take my tablets, fuck. Well I guess what ever happens, happens and there really isn’t much dwell on. I also got my hair cut spent more money and felt really kinda good about myself. I suppose its just a usual but yeah still good all the same.

I’m so really happy to be where I am today after everything I have been through. And yeah ok so some of what I went through was my own fault but still I made it and I am so happy now. I guess I still want more but that want is a healthy want. After all, if I didn’t want then how would I move on in any positive way?  And yeah sure there is things I want to change about my life, but nothing that drastic. Nothing that wouldn’t be changed over time. I love where I am and I love the people who are here with me. Wow ok so yeah another tumbling thought but oh well… as the grass grows green so does the tree of life. Slightly deep and philosophical but there you go. Now, time to think some more and sleep.

I got caught up thinking about my tablets. I've realised I take 9 tablets a day, 63 a week, 270 a month and 2,555 a year and approximately a massive 137970 for the rest of my life based on an average life expectancy for a man in the UK and of course the 9 a day (if I remember!!!). That’s a hell of a lot of tablets.



Monday 11th January 2008

your words bring my thoughts